Episodes
Dolphins Made of Darkness: The Hat Man
Oct. 20, 2020
This week, we come close to free-balling an episode, Brianne has a horrific encounter while on her sleep bullshit, Curious George lightens the mood, we identify the spooky-lookers in our lives, and a savage six year old migh…
Bad Things Were Gonna Happen To You: The Exorcist Film Curse
Oct. 13, 2020
This week, Aunt Vada's dad is not having it, we envision a possessed child as Roland Schitt and a ghost as Lin-Manuel Miranda, and a sadistic director curses a film production. Content warnings: demonic/occult topics, refere…
A Good Way for Someone To Get Pregnant on a Hay Bale: The Spooky Episode
Oct. 6, 2020
This week, Brianne returns from the dead, we speculate about our nemeses, Brianne coaches Melanie on how to care less, a haunted house surprise does not go according to plan, we revisit the Indiana State Fairgrounds, a prop …
Read the Room: The #freebritney Movement, Part 2
Sept. 29, 2020
This week, our Britney episodes conclude even as Britney's plight does not, weird interviews about, and emojis tip off fans that something is amiss. Content warnings: conservatorship abuse, mental illness, emotional abuse. L…
Britney Cake: The #freebritney Movement, Part 1
Sept. 22, 2020
This week, Melanie goes totally spooky with it and meets her put-together neighbors in a Britney t-shirt, Midwesterners are polite aloof little goblins, we reinvent the disaster wheel, Britney eats crawfish, Brianne courts a…
Turtles in the Water, Tortoise on the Land: The Sixth Extinction Event
Sept. 15, 2020
This week, Melanie doesn't know the safe word (because it's really The Audio Guy guest starring), TAG victim blames dinosaurs, frogs are dying, we're angling for a curriculum sponsorship, and TAG sucks at palate cleansers. C…
The Safe Word is Bubbles: The Faithway Drive Disaster
Sept. 8, 2020
This week, the day all podcasters dread arrives, Melanie encounters a choad in the wild, we set a demon safeword, a bedroom disappears in an instant, we learn a lot of spooky sinkhole geography, wonder about grief rituals, a…
Spring, Summer, Fall, Halloween, & Winter: The Imperial Sugar Refinery Explosion
Sept. 1, 2020
This week, Brianne is cooked medium well and wants to be a freelance brain surgeon, Adelaide gives a bird presentation, Melanie gets slammed by a hurricane and joins the current millennium, sugar turns out to be combustible,…
You Have The Best...Titles: The Richmond Hill Explosion
Aug. 25, 2020
This week, Melanie is evacuating a hurricane double-whammy, Brianne hits up Taco Bell in her wedding dress, Melanie is inspired to step up her jammy game in case she ever has to watch her house burn down in the middle of the…
There's Eighty Billion Gallons Headed for Us: The Teton Dam Collapse
Aug. 17, 2020
This week, Brianne and Melanie go back to the podcast coal mines, Melanie discovers that she's a ghost, we get a Drunk Melanie Math Lesson, a 5,000 foot dam collapses, and there's an 80 foot wall of water. SHOW NOTES Content…
A Freak Deal & A Gory Story: Russell Lee Phillips
Aug. 11, 2020
This week, Brianne doesn't have malaria, Melanie buys a house full of demons, a squeamish firefights meets a terrible end, Brianne is mad about college sports, an arm falls out of a car, there's a guy named Humpy Wheeler, an…
Hookie
Aug. 4, 2020
Bad news - no new episode this week. Good news - lots of stuff coming up for the ten dollar patreons! Marked Safe is on a one week hiatus. Sorry horrible ghouls!
I Like My Queens Petty: Scheele's Green
July 28, 2020
This week, Melanie tells us about a guy named Carl, there's an old-timey inventor brawl, discoveries are licked, pompous assholes are always celebrated, ugly wallpaper makes someone throw up, Melanie needs to make a report t…
Get back on board, for F---’s sake: The Costa Concordia Disaster
July 21, 2020
This week, Brianne peaks in episode 11, we all get a villain to cathartically blame, a ship full of 13s is doomed from the start, an off-duty captain gets shit done, a guy with a punchable face gets his ass handed to him by …
The Water Turned Red with Blood: The Black December Shark Attacks
July 14, 2020
This week, Brianne finally watches Hamilton, something brushes a leg underwater, there's a whole explosives hospital, a shark turns somersaults in a few feet of water, Melanie's husband has a hammock phobia, it turns out sha…
That Eagle Has COVID: Fireworks Incidents
July 7, 2020
This week, Melanie bites off more fireworks than she can chew, fireworks warehouses detonate, a hot dog is replaced with TNT, a fire department takes one look and peaces out, an obituary tells it like it is, a Gaston actor m…
He Was Wearing His Finest Pajama Pants: Pokemon Go Incidents
June 29, 2020
This week, newlywed Melanie lives in a city with lawless drive-thru daiquiri shacks, we unpack the etymology of a gross old-timey phrase, Melanie plays Pokemon Go while she delivers a baby and railroads another kid into choo…
A Bad Dream I Wouldn't Have Even Thought to Have: Elevator Accidents
June 23, 2020
This week, Brianne has to make her own daiquiri at great personal risk, Melanie plans a meeting in Japan, a welfare clerk, some gold miners, a surgery resident, and a high school student meet horrific fates, elevators operat…
A Bunch of F***ing Useless Meatloafs: The Monongah Mine Disaster
June 16, 2020
Melanie unbuttons it, we educate the public and ourselves about chicken testicles, Melanie gets the gift of goat murder for her wedding, a mining company is evil, a mine explodes, a train plunges, and Father's Day is born. S…
This Shambling Corpse of a Rollercoaster: Amusement Park Disasters Part 2
June 9, 2020
This week, Brianne offers a charcuterie board of amusement park accidents, a wholesome dad saves the day, we clarify that water is wet, teenage lifeguards have too much work ethic, Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures class ge…
I Don't Know Why, I Had to Look: The Arkansas B-47 Crash
June 2, 2020
This week, we have a delightful guest speaker, Melanie does math, Marked Safe is a hostile work environment, we make Melanie's aunts join our Patreon to find out who's the favorite aunt, Melanie invents morbid optimism, a pl…
Maybe We're All Just Horrible Ghouls: Amusement Park Disasters Part I
May 26, 2020
This week, a security guard deserves a raise, Busch Gardens leans into some horrifying PR, Brianne ventures into the underbelly of the internet for research, the phrase "funny hop" ruins our lives forever, a group of roller-…
Relax, Have a Beignet, Stop Being So Modern: Hard Rock Hotel Collapse
May 26, 2020
This week, Brianne has a haunted attic, audio was still finding its sea legs, gentrification ruins everything, a building collapses, and developers drop the ball. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: Building collapse, loss of spous…
A Big Creaky Danger Machine: Indiana State Fair Collapse
May 26, 2020
This week, we start a podcast, Melanie fingers her soil, some mom groups implode, shortcuts are taken, a prayer circle saves some celebrities but no one else, 43 lawsuits get filed, LGBTQ survivor benefits get an historic wi…