Episodes

This week, Melanie wants to listen to the podcast in space with Jeff Bezos, Brianne aspires to chaotic good behavior, the Florida man bracket crashes to an end, TAG continues to pull strings, Melanie wants to suckle a cow, lessons are learned about rabies testing, we pause to fact-check an infamous Marilyn Manson rumor, Melanie has concerning beliefs about dentists, we rank fire safety devices, and Melanie finally misses a dirty joke opportunity. Content warnings: tuberculosis, decapitation of d...

This week, Melanie is WRONG, a bet is made, the Wendy's alligator goes out to pasture, TAG is an evil puppeteer, miners are poetic, history loves insane asylums, gold rushes, and white men, Brianne has hot takes on lobotomies, Robert Lawson ain't shit, and Melanie is doing Count Dante. Content warnings: fictional addiction, alcoholism, housefire, deaths of children, and suicidal ideation, old-timey ableist language, sexism, domestic violence, murder to escape domestic violence, masturbation, men...

This week, we put on our gray business suits and campaign in Ohio, Brianne reveals herself to be a villain, an alligator in someone's pants emerges as a frontrunner, the Midwestern food bracket elicits a strong emotional response, Melanie hopes for a big snake, America is nothing to get excited about, Melanie disrespects the wishes of rougarous and gets spiderwebs in her bush, a self-proclaimed country boy is a reliable employee at Winn-Dixie and not much else, and Lex is in trouble. Content war...

This week, we learn how to be good citizens, an alligator is thrown through a fast food window, we cave to a year and a half of requests, pot gets framed for asshole genius behavior, and we cover the worst amusement park disaster yet. Content warnings: mentions of drugs, domestic violence 18:15-19:00, horrific death of a child which is the topic of the episode but discussed specifically from 39:00 on, decapitation, vague mention of suicidal ideation Links: Behind the Thrills How a Freak Accident...

This week, Melanie puts out feelers for cross-stitching listeners, puppy justice takes over Florida, we petition to bring back the name Constance, Melanie gets catfished by a fake Steve Miller Band, and a tea dance goes horrifically wrong. Content warnings: structural collapse, graphic discussion of death and severe physical trauma, graphic discussion of traumatic rescue and recovery episodes, PTSD, repeated references to dismemberment, explicit death of a child 00:34:40-00:37:31. 45 KILLED AT H...

This week, hurricane life continues, Melanie addresses her fake divorce, a Florida man won't be kink-shamed, and comas are complicated. Content warnings: extensive and descriptive discussion of comas/coming out of comas, severe physical trauma, and the loss of one's child. Car accident, falling asleep at the wheel, memory loss, and adult humor. Links: A Twist of Fate Michigan truck driver convicted in Indiana mistaken identity crash is out of prison Mistaken Identity - Don & Susie Van Ryn and Ne...

This week, Tiktok changes the game, Brianne leaves the podcast a bad review, an army of turtles defeats everyone, Melanie takes it all, Brianne will flash anyone, Arby's delivers disaster concierge service, Melanie is the trashy neighbor, we court a Waffle House sponsorship, and Melanie conceals a mohawk. Content warnings: hurricane aftermath, alligator attack, loss of spouse, sinkhole, serious injuries after accident, cow in peril, near drowning of adult and child. Links: A Louisiana man is pre...

This week, Melanie is marked safe, a man is a member of a very important organization, Dave dies, we cover the most horrifying thing we've ever covered, Jeep Liberties become problematic, and Melanie is wooed by scratch-off tickets. Content warnings: one use of the c-word, hurricane damage/evacuation/deaths, carbon monoxide poisoning, death by accidental hanging, extreme gore 50:27-58:50, traumatic loss of spouse in old age, domestic violence ending in murder-suicide 1:02:56-1:08:20, gun violenc...

This week, we don our emotional bat dresses, there's an alligator in someone's pants, a corporation is totally upstanding, murderous sludge gets upcycled, fishermen storm a factory, a lot of people die, and we explore possible alternate timelines. Content warnings: maltreatment of alligators, neurological symptoms in animals, eating eels, serious illness/possible death of five year old child, CNS disease, experimentation on cats, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant deformities, community shunning, i...

This week, we have bones to pick with each other, a man goes to extreme lengths to fight for his right to party, the "show me" state shows 'em, a dumpster isn't a dumpster, and the dead crash the party. Content warnings: unusual meats, turtle murder, fleeting mention of cannibalism, home break-in, gross earwax discussion, flooding, alcoholism, continuous and graphic discussion of corpses and decomposition, grief, cancer, graphic discussion of infant death 45:50. Links: Buried Secrets, S1 E1 Gre...

This week, MELANIE IS BACK, Brianne is haunted by a koala, Florida man bracket kicks off, Melanie loves chaotic men, everyone is naked, lava lamps cause a lot of trouble, Brianne meets a snake and tries on victim blaming for size, and Melanie permanently loses her right to judge Midwestern cuisine. Content warnings: COVID, unwanted physical contact in the form of a wet willy, passing mention of Glasgow smiles and schizophrenia, extensive and detailed discussion of having alcoholic parents, hallu...

This week, The Audio Guy is our final guest star and doesn't want to be a beaver, someone is a loser ghost, a barefoot medieval knight does a somersault, a nurse has two jobs in order to be a nurse and fails at both, TAG wants people to take their destinies by the dick, and a dialysis clinic has the most morbid layout imaginable. Content warnings: divorce, depression, vague mention of suicidal ideation/in-patient treatment. drug addiction/abuse, domestic disputes without explicit violence, job l...

This week, we have our third out of four guest stars, Jo has shady text messages, a town is built on stilts, Alaska proves a point to science, avalanche season gets out of control, Jo has Iditarod connections, a home invader turns out to be furrier than anticipated, somebody gets her booty bit, and Alaskans are stoic as hell. Content warnings: colonialism, tuberculosis, war, tsunamis, mountain climbing deaths, tornado-strength wind, delayed rescue, hypothermia, injury and death of dog, attack by...

This week, Mandi is willing and even ready to fight a chicken to the death, divers attempt the "Dive of Death" with mixed results, a diver finds himself on both ends of drunk driving disasters, someone fails to read the room on a scale never seen before on this podcast, Brianne's mom spills the Olympic tea, and in Melanie's absence we fail to make one single dick joke about the name Steele Johnson. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: theoretical animal murder in the context of a would-you-rather, alcoh...

This week, we have our first guest star since Melanie got her ultimate disaster relief, Atlantis wants finger nipples and to eat her cat, Marked Safe is on TikTok now, it's time for everyone to get nekkid, we evaluate whether arrhythmia is a verb, a lot of corpses do a little breathing, Brianne is not cooking dinner after six days in a coffin, and we make petty ghost plans. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: CPR/resuscitation attempts, death and near-death experiences, embalming, buried/embalmed alive...

This week, Melanie records her last episode before maternity leave, TAG (The Audio Guy) chimes in, we ponder what a Florida Man baby would be like, the cryptid bracket comes to a close, Melanie identifies her strengths, the final Titanic episode sets sail, a staffing change sinks the Titanic, Violet Jessop becomes our WCW, James Cameron has a bad trip, we demand an apology from Leonardo DiCaprio, and Melanie has a lot to learn about beverages. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: difficult labor, infant...

This week, Melanie's labor is a disaster, Brianne makes one of the most controversial cryptid hot takes yet, a Carpathia passenger is an unapologetic gossip, the pro-Cal lobby is just three Billy Zanes in a trench coat, dogs get zoomies on the Titanic, a cat sees the writing on the wall, and we unpack two Jack Dawson conspiracy theories. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: burial at sea, death from hypothermia and drowning, fictional revenge porn, deaths of companion animals, deaths of (fictional) chil...

This week, Brianne podcasts on nighttime cough syrup, Melanie poops her pants in Australia, the cryptid bracket gets to the final four, Brianne hates getting possessed, Melanie is aggressively unhelpful, a free gift turns out to just be death, and Melanie tells one of the most upsetting stories we've ever covered. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: Large-scale deaths of children throughout (most graphic and upsetting details are 28:00-40:00, brief mention of vomit. Links: 183 Children Died in a Stampe...

This week, Melanie is gonna have a baby and the southerners are unimpressed, The Audio Guy requests a specific head in a box, Chicago Mothman battles The Jersey Devil, we embark upon the maiden voyage of a Titanic extravaganza, women care for each other, someone dies standing up, and Brianne's inner 10 year old is having the best day of her life. SHOW NOTES Content warnings: death of an adolescent and teen from their mother's perspective, loss of various spouses, death of a child 1:01:00, body s...

This week, Melanie ventures into the worst part of 2007 internet, the wendigo finally gets his day in court, Brianne would rather get eaten than deal with someone crying but Melanie loves the aesthetics of it, we get a classic “I didn’t know I was pregnant” story at 42,000 feet, someone jumps out of a moving train, Melanie introduces a different kind of birth canal, someone has a baby up a tree with crocodiles, Brianne nearly walks out on the job over a nightmarish story, and Melanie is marked s...