Episodes

March 6, 2024

Big Ass Daddy Deer: Baby Jessica

This week, we are all personally responsible for the deer overpopulation problem, Melanie is finally desensitized to shafts, Brianne is a curious cat when it comes to water drills and industrial balloons, and Jessica is off …
Feb. 24, 2024

Right Here, in Zanesville Ohio: Ohio Compilation Part 2

This week, Brianne brings you more Buckeye bullshit, Melanie is still vertical, we contemplate a bracket brought to you in partnership with Sandwich Daddy, Brianne’s cucumber terrorizes the world, the bracket ends with a con…
Feb. 9, 2024

Sillysad: Birthday Charcuterie

This week, we hear from the man with the world’s largest collection of Titanic VHS tapes, Brianne cannot stop the wind, Melanie and Cody are both tax tops, the Kruse family presents a disaster charcuterie, we unpack the poss…
Feb. 4, 2024

Ohio is for Haters: Ohio Compilation Part 1

This week, Brianne plans for her next cohost, we finally identify Carmen Sandiego’s location, we begin an inquiry into Ohio’s lesbian farming, Brianne punches sideways, we get a crossover villain from the previous episode, M…
Jan. 27, 2024

The Price That Was Paid for Fish: The Johnstown Flood Part 2

This week, Marley enters her piranha era, Brianne must continually reckon with Froot Loops, we discover that there are two kinds of people, Melanie has a certain amount of knowledge about grave robbing, and we have a guest s…
Jan. 27, 2024

The Price That Was Paid for Fish: The Johnstown Flood Part 2

This week, Marley enters her piranha era, Brianne must continually reckon with Froot Loops, we discover that there are two kinds of people, Melanie has a certain amount of knowledge about grave robbing, and we have a guest s…
Jan. 19, 2024

No Danger From Our Enterprise: The Johnstown Flood

This week, we give lumberjacks a break from the female gaze, Melanie finally admits that she’s the bottom, Brianne is actually the river planner for the city, we try to appease Ohio, it really is all about that bass, and a “…
Jan. 12, 2024

Everything Goes Away, You’re Flying Now: Shane McConkey

This week, Adelaide is over the hill of childhood, sphincters are puckered, Shane has monstrous cojones, Melanie gets a package that would make either of us cry, and Brianne has a confession about Ohio. Content warnings: ext…
Jan. 5, 2024

John’s Version: 1992 North Dakota Farming Accident

This week, we’re having another baby, Melanie is getting blown, Brianne’s brain gremlin is running things, we would like to discuss what our partners are wearing, and jokesters gotta joke. Content warnings: gory description …
Dec. 24, 2023

The Reason Somebody’s Papaw is Like That: Recalled Toys Part 3

This week, Squonk’s gotta Squonk, your grief is invited to our holiday party, Melanie believes that lighters are a recalled children’s toy, toy manufacturers need a visit from HR, Melanie inquires about a potential career in…
Dec. 9, 2023

Alive With Fire: Babbs Switch Fire

This week, the Froot Loops are malicious, Grace is back on her bullshit, not everyone understands how certifying things works, the story includes an unexpected amount of family tea and fantasy nose punching, and Melanie has …
Dec. 1, 2023

Fact Action Finger Fun: Recalled Toys

This week, the ghouls deliver on tea (but not the usual kind), Brianne’s kid is a poser, the bracket choice is unexpectedly easy, Melanie loves sipping clams, people scoot like seals, Brianne is haunted by violent Sky Dancer…
Nov. 17, 2023

Fast Cars & Easy Women: Samson’s Story

This week, Brianne is willing to make a ghost if you give her a reason, sexy boys are silly boys, the real lizard was Carrot Top all along, and Samson is a beefy fellow. Content warnings: plane crash/survival story
Nov. 10, 2023

The Toy Ad Doth Protest Too Much: Recalled Toys

This week, Brianne loves geese, Melanie doesn’t understand that raccoons are a blessing, Brianne never wants to wear pants again, Adelaide has the perfect topic, we wonder whether rubber cement girls are a real thing, and ev…
Oct. 31, 2023

Dolls Be Havin’ Dolls: Haunted Dolls & Spooky Stories

This week, Brianne and Melanie are each other for Halloween, Squonk asserts dominance over viruses, Brianne loves buttless animals, Melanie loves wet socks, two haunted dolls are going to kiss soon, hiding cursed objects in …
Oct. 13, 2023

Those Who Are About to Die Salute You: 13 Superstitions

This week, Goat Granny sets up a trail cam, Tinky is in the will, Brianne finds out about Dennis Rodman, Melanie doesn’t want illegitimate Crocs, we’re all spared a week of existential terror, Melanie isn’t noble enough for …
Oct. 6, 2023

Overlapping Failures: Seoul Halloween Crowd Crush

This week, some shit’s always going down on the east side, petting zoo rules are implemented at Brianne’s sole discretion, Melanie’s decanter collects dust, and Brianne is clear in her feelings on South Korea and its people.…
Sept. 29, 2023

All of the Residents Got Wings: Wilmer Bus Fire

This week, Melanie is a wholesome dad joke, the TV theme show bracket comes to a close, Melanie finds a comrade in morbid graphic design, Brianne is not impulse buying crickets, and we should all get an oil change. Content w…
Sept. 22, 2023

Pink Party Hats: Circus Elephants

This week, we add to our vault of cursed episodes, we plan No Thought November, Brianne gets her giggles where she can, Melanie refuses to change topics mid-episode, Myrtle doesn’t read the room, and Brianne lets the intrusi…
Sept. 15, 2023

It’s A Wiener, To Be Honest: The Lake Michigan Triangle

This week, Melanie makes her children ride in the cargo hold, Christy exceeds expectations, Bermuda is not the only triangle in town, Melanie loves to give hugs, the arrogance of white men was the real supernatural mystery a…
Sept. 1, 2023

Revenge On Death: Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571

This week, Brianne is turbocharged by the moon, the White Chicken apology tour never ends, human complexities reach extreme levels, Cody would be on a mule, and it’s too soon for our usual send-off. Content warnings: cancer,…
Aug. 23, 2023

Stop Jabbering, Start Gesticulating: Celluloid

This week, Brianne awards a half-assed bracket advancement, all mistakes are just glitches in the matrix, boundaries are set regarding relaxy time, Melanie loves a factory incident, and technology is in retrograde. Content w…
Aug. 9, 2023

Get Your Hands Dirty: The Hart Family, Part 2

This week, a Canadian goose is nearly lost, Brianne is surprised by her own bracket choices, Olaf is no help for the recap, and we unpack what can prevent a tragedy like this from happening again. Content warnings: transraci…
Aug. 2, 2023

The Comment is We Will Have No Comment: Alusuisse Explosion

This week, Melanie has unexpected responsibilities as the adultiest adult, Bay is marked safe, Melanie forgets to have self-preservation instincts, Jacob gets bonked with some undies, Brianne is ONCE AGAIN right, and Melanie…