No Shit, But Also Shit: Chipotle Mass Food Poisonings

This week, toddlers fuck up, Melanie is remorseless, Brianne wants to encounter a dumb motherf***er, People.com does Brianne dirty, Ohio is on its bullshit, Brianne is promised a haunted trunk, Melanie poops on her girlfriend's couch, and we pass the Bechdel test.

Content warnings: accident that leads to amputation, food poisoning discussed throughout but no graphic descriptions of vomiting and mildly graphic descriptions of diarrhea, rectal examination.

Links:
https://www.nrn.com/food-safety/timeline-tracking-chipotles-food-safety-crisis
https://www.bostonglobe.com/business/2015/12/16/chipotle-takes-out-full-page-apology-ads-globe-herald/4TFBPJPbY2WiKBlF4KBukL/story.html
https://www.foodpoisoningnews.com/criminal-investigation-chipotle-norovirus-outbreak-criminal-investigation-continues-first-two-chipotle-lawsuits-filed-chain-week/
https://www.foodpoisoningnews.com/chipotle-must-pay-a-25-million-criminal-fine-for-food-safety-violations/
https://www.foodpoisoningnews.com/food-poisoning-at-chipotle-a-history-of-food-safety-issues/
https://www.foodpoisonjournal.com/foodborne-illness-outbreaks/chipotle-hit-with-25-million-food-safety-fine-for-norovirus-clostridium-perfringens-outbreaks/
https://www.cnbc.com/2017/11/29/how-steve-ells-built-chipotle-mexican-grill-into-a-burrito-empire.html
https://titanswire.usatoday.com/2021/10/22/tennessee-titans-a-j-brown-chipotle-food-poisoning-week-7-chiefs/
https://www.sportskeeda.com/nfl/news-aj-brown-revealed-food-chipotle-caused-get-sick
https://twitter.com/RudyBompton/status/1450340096687890432
https://marlerclark.com/news_events/chipotle-grill-hepatitis-a-san-diego-2008
https://nbc24.com/news/local/norovirus-to-blame-in-chipotle-illness
https://www.businessinsider.com/chipotles-past-food-poisoning-outbreaks-2015-11
https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/how-avoid-food-poisoning-e-coli-and-salmonella
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2015/11/06/oregon-washington-customers-sue-over-chipotle-ecoli-outbreak/75324652/
https://apps.prsa.org/Intelligence/TheStrategist/Articles/view/11483/1125/In_the_C_Suite_Chipotle_Mexican_Grill_s_Rise_Fall#.YqCvYHbMLtU
https://www.johnlocke.org/chipotle-and-food-fads/
https://www.andnowuknow.com/quick-dish/chipotle-commits-10-million-help-suppliers-meet-food-safety-standards/christofer-oberst/48359
https://www.laborpress.org/chipotle-workers-say-sick-leave-violations-make-them-sick/
https://www.denverpost.com/2016/01/13/chipotle-stock-up-on-promises-of-extraordinary-food-safety-measures/
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/09/business/chipotle-meeting-outlines-food-safety-to-workers-and-message-for-public.html
https://www.businessinsider.com/chipotle-illness-outbreak-clostridium-perfringens-identified-as-cause-2018-8
https://www.foodsafetynews.com/2020/04/chipotle-agrees-to-pay-25-million-federal-fine-for-role-in-some-outbreaks/#:~:text=2015%20E.,Three%20patients%20were%20hospitalized.
https://retailwire.com/discussion/chipotle-asks-sick-employees-to-call-the-nurse/
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/21/business/chipotle-tainted-food-settlement.html
https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/chipotle-mexican-grill-agrees-pay-25-million-fine-and-enter-deferred-prosecution-agreement